In my 46 years, I’ve never made a New Year’s resolution. For some reason, I actually thought about it for the first time this year. I didn’t have anything specific in mind, just the vague idea that maybe I should consider one. I don’t know why I had the thought other than lately I’m chalking a lot of things up to getting older. I’d like to substitute the phrase “getting older” with “getting more mature”, but the jury’s still out on that. I do know I have a different perspective on many things and treat people better than I did. I’m no longer driven by the same things I used to be. I’ve always been driven. I’ve never been sure why, and my husband doesn’t understand it at all. I’ve always been wired to push myself. I can’t sit still–I always have to be doing something, and do something new to see what I’m capable of. Again, I have no idea why. I had a happy childhood and loving parents. The only person I feel a need to prove anything to is myself. There certainly is an upside in that I’ve been able to leverage that drive into a successful career and comfortable life for my family. But the downside is real, too. I’ve not always given my family or even myself what they deserve. A major health scare a few years ago along with the reduced physical resiliency which hit about the same time as my 40th birthday finally, and thankfully, slowed me down. In fact, for the first time in my life, I’m nearing the end of an eleven day vacation of doing virtually nothing every day, all day. Of course, I’ve also written the two most challenging chapters so far of my next book, but who’s counting that? And I paid bills and cooked and helped clean the house, but that’s just normal stuff, right? And that room I repainted, well, it really needed it. Oh, and because my oldest daughter has been recovering from the flu, I had to scrap all those plans I was going to do with the girls while we were off. OK, so clearly I’m not cured, but I actually enjoyed being at rest. While others are resolving to lose weight this year or finally write that book (oh yeah, I’m doing that too), I commit to myself and to my family to continue my long, slow slide toward laziness.
“Our nature consists in motion; complete rest is death.” –Blaise Pascal